Thinking of working for Santa? Think again!
Discovered somewhere in the vast confines of a Newark warehouse used to store elf clothing for Christmas displays (and right beside a half-pint of rye), this tattered book blows the lid
off the inside doings at the North Pole. The holiday workshop has been a secret society for far too long, keeping mum about its office practices, low or non-existent wages, hazardous
weather duty, squalid living conditions (elves and reindeer live together), and big-brother snooping. It’s even been said that the management can see you when you’re
sleeping!
The North Pole Employee Handbook reveals everything about how things really get done, from “The Company’s” anti-labor-organizing regulations to its strict totalitarian control of
the media to its stringent non-compete claus(e) for elves. Santa jolly? We think not. Training, dress code, employee classifications, time sheets, on the job safety, sick leave, official
holidays (they don’t even get Christmas off!), and much more are all written down here…and now, the truth is out there for us all.
This playful “facsimile” edition of the ancient handbook makes a great holiday gift. Give it to those you love…and save them from the big boss up North!
