I Am Better Than Your Kids

From the New York Times bestselling author of The Alphabet of Manliness comes I Am Better Than Your Kids, an outrageous, laugh-out-loud critique of children’s artwork that finally cuts those smug little know-it-alls down to size.

If you think children are precious snowflakes who are perfect in every way, think again. If you cherish every piece of art, every book report, every letter to Santa your child gives you, then this book is not for you. If your refrigerator is adorned with mementos from your kid’s childhood, then you are a sucker.

Maddox, who has been writing hilarious essays for his popular site, TheBestPageInTheUniverse.com since 1996 (which receives upwards of 50,000 unique visitors per day), is here to show you just how inferior your kids are. Based on his most popular feature on his website, I Am Better Than Your Kids, and featuring 95 percent exclusive new content, Maddox exposes the terrible inadequacy of children.

Marvel as Maddox deconstructs an eight-year-old’s crayon-drawn family portrait! Cheer as he eviscerates a wuss’s letter home to mama from sleepaway camp! Laugh uproariously as he judges sub-par valentines, homemade “gifts,” and other areas of elementary-aged underperformance! Why reward weakness and mediocrity with gold stars? You are in Maddox’s world now, and no child is safe from the scrutiny and critical gaze of the world’s foremost authority on children’s crappy artwork.