Life Is a Pirate Ship Run by a Velociraptor

Life is never boring when you’re a human magnet for the bizarre. For Allison Hawn, owning a cursed car, being attacked by a man wielding a foam sword, or having to battle an evil pony could manifest on any day ending in “y.” These truly hilarious tales provide both bookworms and casual glimpsers with important life lessons, such as what to do if a woman dressed as a cat refuses to get off the roof of your vehicle. You’re welcome.